And Now He Wants Me to SING with Him?

singing karaokeI’ve discovered something truly terrible about The Wedding Date.  Something I don’t know that I can accept.  Something I’m not sure we’ll be able to overcome.  The Wedding Date, dear readers, likes karaoke.

This is a problem because we’re going on a cruise next month.  Cruises have karaoke and not only is The Wedding Date planning to sing but he wants me to sing with him.

Allow me to shed some light onto my illustrious musical career thus far:

Grace Lutheran Church, circa 1997: I joined the church choir with my mother, only to discover that I was an alto, not a soprano as I’d previously hoped.  Thanks to my inability to read music, however, and the fact that there were only two altos in the entire choir, I always had to stand next to one of the sopranos and was forever drifting into singing the melody by mistake.

Freehold Music Center, circa 1999: I auditioned for my first musical and was cast as one of Cinderella’s step sisters in a community theater production of Into the Woods.  Voice lessons soon followed and when my teacher told me I had a “natural vibrato” I assumed that I’d be making my Broadway debut in no time.  We took a break for the summer, however, and when I called her in the fall to schedule my next round of lessons, she never called me back.  I was that hopeless.

Goucher College, circa 2004: Recognizing that my musical talent lay perhaps in the realm of scholarship and not performance, I decided to enroll in a baroque music course.  It was cross listed within the history department but the first day of class the professor announced that since the class contained mostly music majors, he’d be gearing the class towards them (as opposed to us infiltrators from the history department).  I was doing alright until he started throwing terms around like “major” and “minor key.”

With the midterm just a few weeks away, I raised my hand and asked him to explain.  His explanation, however, involved more terms I didn’t understand—so many, in fact, that I could feel my eyes welling up with tears.  Finally, he took pity on me and said, “You know how some music sounds happy and some makes you want to kill yourself?”  I nodded.  “Well that’s the difference: major key sounds happy, minor key makes you want to kill yourself.”

Goucher College, circa 2006: I finally got around to registering for “Music for Dancers,” a requisite course for all dance majors actually intending to graduate.  Towards the end of the semester, we all had to take turns playing on a drum set.  I was so nervous that I couldn’t stop laughing, swallowed my gum and nearly choked to death in front of the entire class.

Clearly music is not my forte.  And karaoke… well, as I’m always telling my students, there’s a reason I’m a dance teacher and not a vocal coach.

And yet The Wedding Date will not be deterred.  (“It’ll be fun!” “You’re never going to see these people again in your life!” “I’ll buy you drinks!”)

The only problem now is that we have to come up with a duet I can actually sing.  So far, we’ve got Paradise By the Dashboard Light, Don’t You Want Me Baby and Love Shack but I’m not 100% sold on any of these.  So… any suggestions?

23 thoughts on “And Now He Wants Me to SING with Him?

    • If only I didn’t loathe (and I do mean LOATHE) Grease :( I know I’m probably the only person on the planet but I just can’t stand that show… that and Wizard of Oz. Thanks though!

  1. You’ve Really Got a Hold On Me. The range isn’t too high, and it’s a fun song full of extreme emotion. Oh, and then there’s Side by Side (you know the one – “We Ain’t got a Barrel of Money…”) which is typically done in clown costume with slapstick — perfect for you!

    Next time you sing karaoke, do it in a place where we can come and applaud you. Very sneaky for you to plan this performance on the high seas.

    • That’s what I’m afraid of. TWD already has blackmail video footage of me singing the rap section from “Yeah” by Usher at the top of my lungs on New Years…

  2. Ok, first, I love karaoke, and I’m so jealous that you’ve found someone who wants to sing a duet with you. However, as a fellow alto, let me give you a few words of caution. Don’t let others pick your songs. They will always pick songs that are too high for you and then, when you can’t reach the high notes, your worst karaoke fears will be realized.

    Let me recommend a few duets that, I, an alto/tenor, can sing, and hopefully, this will make things less difficult. “Let’s Make Love” by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, “Just a Kiss” or “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum, “Leather and Lace” or “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” by Stevie Nicks and Don Henly / Tom Petty respectively.

    I realize I’m older than you, but considering that you’re going on a cruise, and cruisers tend to be a bit older, these should be big hits.

  3. Still voting for, “Don’t you want me”…so CAMPY and then there’s the interlude where TWD can do lifts with you ;) The lyrics are so lyrical they choreograph the background dancer hand gestures for themselves, LOL

  4. Pingback: The Boyfriend Pillow: What Will They Think of Next? « Fieldwork in Stilettos

  5. Ahh..karaoke. Adam loves it. I refuse to do it unless I’m am drunk. However, this is not because I cannot sing, it is because I am afraid to sing in front of others. I am actually quite a good singer–but the stage terrifies me.

    There are some who can sing and some who can dance…if it makes you feel any better I look ridiculous when I try to dance. The only kind of dancing that I’ve ever been successful at would be bellydancing. That was my graduation project.

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