The Problem with Vacuuming in the Nude
8July 23, 2012 by Kat Richter
Evidently my grandmother used to vacuum in the nude. I won’t tell you how I came across this little tidbit of information but I will tell you this: it’s genetic.
It all started a few Saturday mornings ago when I woke up and realized that if I did not get out bed that very minute and vacuum the house before heading to Manhattan for the day, my parent’s would probably disown me (and seeing as my parents are also my landlords, I’d end up being not only disowned but also homeless).
So I got out of bed, and as it’s too hot to sleep in anything more than a pair of underwear this time of year, I threw on my robe and got to work.
But my robe is rather thick. Like hotel-quality thick, with long sleeves and a navy terry cloth belt. By the time I’d finished the first two floors, I was beginning to… you know… sweat. I realized I had a choice: I could stop vacuuming, take a shower and change into something a bit more suitable for housework, or I could simply strip and finish the job in my birthday suit, just like my grandmother used to.
Obviously, I chose the latter. I was home alone, after all, and I hate vacuuming. I knew that if I stopped to take a shower, I’d never finish.
So I stripped down to my underwear and finished the main floor in record time. I made my way down the steps, and into the office on the first floor without incident. But when I headed into the guest room, which has not one but two windows facing the street, I found myself face to face with a garbage man who was sitting in his truck just a few feet beyond the window pane.
Well…
I’m not sure what my grandmother would have done had she found herself in this sort of situation but I dropped to my knees and crawled out of the bedroom, up the stairs and back into my robe.
I mean, what other choice did I have?
My name is Kat Richter and I'm a writer, dancer and reformed serial dater. I write about relationships, travel, bargain basement fashion and the funny things I see and hear around Philadelphia. Enjoy, and remember: its not dating, its fieldwork!
NB: vacuuming in underwear does NOT count as naked in England – you either do it nude or clothed. In our family – it’s nude in summertime, and clothed in 15 layers the rest of the year! And regards your eyes meeting a rubbish (garbage) collector through the windows? Well, I follow this rule – if YOU look away first and keep your head down, then they’re the pervert for staring, and so you don’t know they’re staring, ‘cos you’re looking down… everyone’s happy. : )
Many years ago I lived on the top floor of an apartment building. My bedroom window faced the main drag. Coming out of the shower one day I glanced down to the street and noticed a man staring at my window as he walked. Yes, I learned that one’s windows are never too high up for blinds. And yes, I stopped in my tracks and defiantly stared right back. I still chuckle when I think about how fast his head turned.
Whoops! And here I was thinking I’d be okay if I’d simply been a few flights up. Just goes to show you’re never safe– LOL!
Vacuuming in underwear does NOT count as nude vacuuming in the UK. You need to be a lot braver to get a rise out my eyebrows here in England! And my response to coming face to face with a workman in your underwear? Well -if you avert your eyes and look away, then a) you can no longer be embarrassed cos you can’t see his face and b) he’s the the one in the wrong for staring, not you for being scantilly clad or naked IN YOUR OWN HOME! : )
When I saw the title, I braced myself for a story of you and TWD spicing things up with some role-playing and having it all go wrong like the chair incident. Although, that might bring new excitement to the blog, I’m glad to see everyone is ok.
ahem, the grandmother mentioned (and notice we are not saying which one) did the task in her b’day suit, so on her end it would count in the UK
[...] I don’t love this—I like dressing provocatively on occasion. Heck, I’ve even vacuumed in the nude! But it’s all part of the package when it comes to [...]
[...] have tried to cultivate a zen attitude while vacuuming on numerous occasions but now that I can’t vacuum in the nude, it’s not nearly as fun as it used to be. (Who am I kidding? Vacuuming is never fun. I hate [...]