My Boyfriend The Turtle Whisperer

The Wedding Date is not an animal person, which is why I thought I was dreaming when he pulled over en route to Hooper’s Island to rescue a turtle.

But I wasn’t dreaming.  He stopped the car, walked into the middle of the road and tapped the turtle on its shell.  (Evidently that’s what you’re supposed to do to make sure that the turtle isn’t an ungrateful little creature who is going to turn around and bite you finger off.)  He then proceeded to carry the turtle to safety and sent it off with a stern “Now stay out of the road, little guy!”

I was so touched that I could have kissed him.  Actually, I’m pretty sure I did kiss him.  I love animals, you see.  When I met one of The Wedding Date’s co-workers and his wife earlier this year, I spent the whole time playing with their dogs instead of doing the whole goo-goo ga-ga thing with their baby like a normal person.

But The Wedding Date isn’t a big fan of messes.  Or things that lick his hand while he’s asleep.  Nonetheless, I’m constantly trying to get him to join me in my appreciation of all things four-legged by saying things like, “Wouldn’t it be great if we got a pug and named him Guacamole and called him Gauckie for short?  We could get him a lime green leash and he’s look just like a little avocado!”

pug in hat

My dream dog

He generally uses this as an opportunity to remind me that pugs have breathing problems.  And snort a lot.  And are really ugly when they’re old (as opposed to just moderately ugly when they’re young).  But I’m determined.  Which is why when my mother discovered another turtle trying to crawl into the dog’s pen the morning after our initial turtle encounter, I sent The Wedding Date to the rescue.

“Come on!” I urged.  “You’re great with turtles!”

“What?”

“There’s a turtle in the yard,” I explained.  “And it’s trying to crawl into the pen with the dogs.  It needs you!”  (In case you’ve forgotten, the smaller of our two mutts can be quite the menace and the larger one isn’t much better…)

“Right now?” The Wedding Date asked.  (It was just shortly after 8:00am and we were both still in our pjs…)

“Yes right now!” I cried.  “It’s in DANGER!  And you… YOU are THE TURTLE WHISPERER!”

He shook his head but dutifully headed outside, still in his pjs.  Upon locating the errant turtle, her tapped it on its shell and carried it across the street to a pleasant-looking habitat of marshy grasses (which was my idea because I like to fancy myself the Assistant Turtle Whisperer even if I’m not all that into the idea of actually touching a turtle).

After the rescue mission was complete, I made The Wedding Date return to the scene of the crime with his camera in order to fully document the experience.

rescue turtle

My boyfriend The Turtle Whisperer (and yes, this is a genuine photograph of The Wedding Date… or his arm at least)

There’s hope for him yet.  Especially as we’re off to The Poconos in just a few hours.  Who knows what sort of creatures we’ll encounter!

6 thoughts on “My Boyfriend The Turtle Whisperer

  1. First, is that sombrero really on the dog? If so, bonus points to you!

    Second, if he’s not fond of things licking him while asleep, he’d hate me. I slept on the floor next to my bed last night, so that my puppy could sleep with me :-)

  2. Not to mention the hip dysplasia. The pugs, not the turtles. Have fun in the Poconos. Do you go home just to do laundry?

    • Haha, I wish my life was that exciting! Although that reminds me… I do need to run a quick load before I finish packing. And I probably should unpack from Denver instead of simply packing a DIFFERENT suitcase for this weekend. I am the world’s absolute worst unpacker :(

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