Signs of a Good First Date
22September 17, 2011 by Kat Richter
Here’s how a first date is supposed to work:
Man shows up on time—even a bit early—and politely asks the hostess if it would be possible to get a table now, as opposed to half an hour from now. (Check.)
Man greets woman with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and discreetly-but-not-presumptuously places his hand on the small of her back as they’re being led to their table. (Check.)
Man and woman engage in such animated small talk that the waiter must come by three times to inquire as to whether or not they’ve even looked at the menu. (Check.)
Man wholeheartedly supports woman’s decision to order red sangria as opposed to white (thank goodness—that could have been a major deal breaker), then proceeds to order an entire pitcher. (Check.)
Man and woman exchange online dating horror stories, fill each other in on what was really going on in their heads during the wedding reception where they first met (turns out his story is almost as good as mine) and confess their “nerd” pursuits. (Me: baroque costuming; him: Star Wars) (Check.)
Man insists on paying for dinner; woman argues; man insists; woman argues. Woman finally asks to be allowed to at least pay the tip, only to be refused once more (and to think: I’d gone to the bank to withdraw cash specifically for this purpose!) (Check.)
Upon quitting the restaurant for the Latin club around the corner, woman discreetly pays the cover charge for both herself and her date before said date has the chance to object. (Check.)
Man asks woman to dance and, despite being a professional salsa instructor in addition to his “real job,” does not make her feel like an idiot for her inability to properly execute his repertoire of complicated turning maneuvers. (Check.)
Woman finds herself thinking, “Hmm… I feel quite sexy right now.” (Check.)
Man offers to drive woman home, escorts her to the door, kisses her on the cheek then manages to snag a quick peck while “clarifying” her suggested route back to the highway. (Check.)
Woman peels off her killer four-and-a-half-inch Carlos Santana stilettos, stumbles up to bed and falls asleep without even bothering to take the flower out of her hair (because really, who gives a sh*t at 2:00am?). (Check.)
Now if only he hadn’t dropped that bomb somewhere between the pineapple guacamole and the chorizo… but bombs, unlike an unfortunate preference for white sangria, aren’t necessarily deal breakers.
(PS: Katie, the pineapple guacamole was fabulous– so fabulous, in fact, that I think you should look up a recipe for it and write a blog post on the subject to save me the trouble. Thanks 
)
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My name is Kat Richter and I'm a writer, dancer and reformed serial dater. I write about relationships, travel, bargain basement fashion and the funny things I see and hear around Philadelphia. Enjoy, and remember: its not dating, its fieldwork!
You need to give some basil-infused, peach sangria a chance. It’s white, but it’s not cool to be a sangria racist.
Hah!
@Katie, waiting for the recipe, I even went back and searched to see if it was on yet…
I have no idea where this sangria racism comes from. Do not prejudge sangria based on its color… Katie’s basil-infused peach sangria may be wonderful, regardless of what color it is.
You must accept drinks even with their differences and only judge them by what is really important. Is it cold, Is it wet, Is it tasty or refreshing, Is it alcoholic. that is what really matters, Hopefully Kat has learned this lesson.
What Bomb?
The real question is how big it was
Are we talking Water bomb made out of a sheet of A4 paper or atomic bomb?
What’s a water bomb made out of A4? Clearly I missed a lot in grade school…
Anywhoo, in answer to your question, I’d say it was a medium-sized bomb.
A4 reefers to a paper size, just a bit bigger than letter size. You fold it to make a hollow cube and fill said cube with water, then throw it at one of your friends well or any one else.
So it is not that he already has two other wives and 15 children?
I like him already!
And need I remind you, he’s local?
Well… he’s not actually. He lives is another state… but that state is closer than Pittsburgh.
Yay!! Finally, a date I feel good about
I’ve never had white sangria so I can’t weigh in on its merits or lack thereof. Sounds like a fun date, though! Seriously, it doesn’t get any more perfect than having a salsa instructor take you out salsa dancing!
I was smiling reading your check list, it sounds like it was such a wonderful time! He’s local, he’s polite, he’s a gentleman, and he seems to get you too. And I agree with Chauffeur, as long as something has alcohol in it I don’t care what color it is.
@Landlord – I made it again this weekend so I could take some pictures, but I’m still trying to perfect the recipe! I like the one I’m making, but it’s still not as good as the one I had at a cafe downtown. So I may post it, but with this disclaimer.
@ Chauffeur – lol! That’s all I’m sayin’.
But seriously Kat, I’m so happy it sounds like you had a fantastic date!
[...] was picture perfect (in fact, you can read about it here) but his personal life is a bit more complicated than mine so it’s taken us until now to arrange [...]
Kat,
Summing it up all in a phrase you are saying a successful first date is where a guy is able to win the confidence of his date. That she can feel secure in his presence, their distance is narrowed down and that she feels comfortable with their closeness, Isn’t it?
Well I’m not sure that you can sum up and entire evening in one phrase (especially when dinner, drinks and dancing are involved!) but to me being able to be physically close without being made to feel creepy or pressured into being too close is always nice, and confidence goes a long way for both men and women I think.
Indeed. I can’t agree more. And nothing in a new date is as spine-tingling as one thing leading to another – instinctively.
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