Sublime Skin (Part 2)

Are you sitting down?  I hope so, because this is going to come as a complete shock: the L’Oreal Paris Body Expertise Sublime Skin Patch does not make your skin sublime.  At least not if you cut the sample patch in half, spend eight hours walking around with the “Concentrated Caffeine Cx Agent” stuck to…

My Quest for “Sublime Skin” (Part 1)

It’s 3:00pm in Philadelphia.  I’m seven hours into my new self-preservation beauty regime, which is just an hour shy of the maximum “recommended usage” for the L’Oreal Paris Body Expertise Sublime Skin Patch.   As of yet, I don’t have sublime skin.  But I’m going to wait the full eight hours because the trial packet only…

Betrayal

I have cellulite.  I’m not quite sure when this happened because I’ve always liked my legs.  At least I’ve liked my legs as much as a dancer who’s spent two decades scrutinizing her appearance in floor-to-ceiling studio mirrors is actually allowed to like her legs (which to say, not very much: my calves are too…

The Truth about Writing

This is what I thought the average writer did with her day: Wake up at 7:30 (enveloped in Egyptian cotton sheets—the kind that actually match your pillowcases—and wearing a set of gorgeous, eco-friendly bamboo fiber pajamas). Kiss Significant Other good morning (he is also gorgeous and eco-friendly, although not made of bamboo). Check email; respond…

One Flight (and one week) Later

It’s Sunday morning and I find myself, quite inexplicably, halfway through July.  Common wisdom would suggest it’s not just me: that everyone is finding themselves halfway through July but I’m nothing if not a bit self absorbed. On that note, I’m sure you’re very curious to know what I’ve been doing since my return to…

Eccentrics and Academics

I’ve always wondered why people—very smart people, with PhDs and professorships—wait until the night before they’re slotted to present their work to finish their PowerPoints.  Haven’t they learned a thing or two about time management over the years?  Don’t they know you shouldn’t leave those things to the last minute? Having submitted my abstract to…

Bemused upon the Bus

Whilst schlepping from one time zone to another, there comes a time when you need to stop, take stock of your growing laundry pile and Do Something about It. For me, the moment in question coincided with my return to England: the land of upright showers and, more importantly, Primark.  I could wash my delicates…

Of Beer and Chocolate

Since when did urinating in public—in broad daylight—become okay?  If it seems that I’m a bit obsessed with the art of peeing in Belgium, it’s because the entire tourism industry hinges upon the Mannqen-Pis.  And because in Brussels, a public event (such as the free concert to celebrate Belgium’s assumption of the European Union’s rotating…