Month: April 2010

Otherwise Known as Career Development

It was the moment every Sales Associate dreads.  I was up at Reggie 2 (which is what us happenin’ and gangsta-inclined associates call the second cash register), just minding my own business when an ominous voice boomed over the loud speaker.  It was Head Boss.  “Kat to the office please,” she commanded.  “Kat to the office.” All eyes were on me.  It was like that scene at the end of The Man of La Mancha when Don Quixote gets hauled out of the dungeon and sent to meet his fate (which, as a victim of the Spanish Inquisition, you know is going to be bad).  And don’t let the “please” fool you.  Store policy for announcements over the loud speakers is “say it nice, say it twice.”  Therefore, Head Boss has to say “please,” even if she’s about to fire someone. Humming the Man of La Mancha theme for courage, I made my way to the office.  “I am I, Don Quixote, the Man of La Mancha—” “Excuse me!” a little girl shouted.  “Where’s ya’ll’s …

So’ Philly Philanthropy

(If you’re new to “Before I Quit My Day Job” you might want to start with the entry entitled “Monday Morning.”  If you’re a returning customer- I mean reader- welcome back and read on!)  When I ask if you would like to donate a dollar to Autism research, there are two and only two responses I want to hear: yes or no.  I’m not even asking for a “Yes please,” or a “No, thank you” (I know better than to expect such courtesy at The Shop); a simple “yes” or “no” will suffice. Nonetheless, I rarely, if ever, receive a simple “yes” or “no.”  Instead, I get a variety of non-committal mumbles, complaints, and downright abuse.  As much as I try to establish eye contact with my customers, I have to focus on the register because the computers date from 20,000 B.C.E. (give or take a few millennia) and they tend to do strange things when faced with anything but the simplest of transactions.  This means that if you respond to my question, “Would you like …